Justice?? What justice?!

So ive touched on this subject a bit and would like to explain further! For anyone who doesn’t know, im from Northern Ireland and i was badly sexually abused throughout my childhood!

Well my experience of the justice system is that there is none 😦 I had to go to court as my abuser denied abusing me so i had to be questioned VERY rigorously and lets just say this on its own was a trauma i will never get over 😦 My abuser’s barrister ripped me to shreds he honestly made me almost question myself! It was the hardest thing i have ever been through but…. i simply told the truth and nothing but the truth as they say, i was questioned via video link so i wasn’t in the courtroom and after the case my foster mother told me at one point when i couldn’t take any more i walked out of the room and my sobs echoed the courtroom and there wasn’t a dry eye in the court room- that is real!!! real raw emotions the jury found him guilty but in the end he admitted what he had done to me so i went through the whole trauma of a trial for nothing 😦

In the end he got sentenced to a total of 27 years in prison- wow i thought happy days that’s one pedophile of the streets for a good while, apparently not.. His sentence was broken down into charges and he also got “good behavior” so in total he served 3 and a half years!!! 23 and half years less than he should have! I am absolutely disgusted by this where is the justice for victims??? Also how on earth does a pedophile who has raped repeatedly a child have good behavior??? That makes me feel sick… and also extremely let down by the so called justice system :@ Pity he didn’t have good behavior when he was raping me aged 6!!!

Sorry for the negativity today , today is an angry day as many people who have been through this or ptsd know your day is never planned by you, you wake up and your mind/body tells you how your day is going to be!! Thank you for reading and thank you so much for the support 🙂 Exx

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4 Responses to Justice?? What justice?!

  1. Marty says:

    great awareness into your feelings, the judgments we defend. Identify with and make expectations.
    I am sorry you had to experience such things and suffer. It is not fair, life is not fair then, now or ever.

    May I address , your day is never planned by you, you wake up and your mind/body tells you how your day is going to be.

    That is a judgment, a cognitive decision that we have no control, influence or impact on our emotions or life’s moods or daily living.

    We have a choice whether to accept that it is an anger day, or maybe focus on the breath, mindfulness to let that anger exist on its own, fading quickly from consciousness.

    There is away out, a way to heal with daily practice. I did so can you.

    Marty

    We are perfect, nothing that has happened to us touches our true self. We are perfect in this very moment, aware of all before us.

  2. I totally understand your hurt for this. The justice systems are set up to favour the criminals, not the victims. I have learned recently to accept there is injustice in the world all the time, in my past, in my present and there will be in the future. It isn’t fair, it isn’t right, but I can either let it destroy me, or have my time of grieving and know to move on. But, don’t deny yourself that time to grieve. A childhood like yours needs to be grieved. The injustice needs to be grieved. It is loss, different to the loss of a loved one, but it is still loss, and not any less painful. Be kind to yourself ❤ xoxox

  3. Marty says:

    ,my response may sound harsh, I apologize for my insensitivity, sorry.

    You have great resolve, insight, look inside, healing is all encompassed there.

    • EmmaSurviver says:

      Hi marty no i appreciate your comment sorry only getting round to it now to be honest im not myself at the minute (have ALOT going on) Ive never had proper therapy or adive on how to deal with what has happened so to be honest i just let things get to me without knowing how to cope with them, im learning every day and until recently i have been very upbeat about everything just struggling abit at the minute! But thank you 🙂 Hope your well Exx

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