From the eyes of an abused child…..

Once again to be honest i dont really know what im doing here so im just going to give it a shot! So my memory of being abused begins age 6 but authorities believe my abuse started age 3,  My abuser was my mothers boyfriend! As my abuse started so early in my life i believed for a long time that what was happening was normal, that every child went through this. I lived a double life, one side was with my family and friends and i was happy though very shy, and one side with my abuser who treated me like i was his girlfriend even aged 6 which as any normal person knows is Fxxked up!! When i talk to people about my abuse they are shocked at how “normal” i seem, they find it hard to understand how can someone who has been through so much seem so “normal” for me personally i dont know if i have subconsciously blocked it out or what but i talk about it like it wasnt me it happened to as in a way thats how it feels :/ I also find it hard to deal with the fact of why me? what did i do wrong to deserve losing my childhood?

I really did lose my childhood and i am not going to lose the rest of my life over him! I really do feel for people who cant take any more and commit suicide or get into drugs etc as i understand it, dealing with what has happened to you can take over your life and again you question yourself which some people cant take anymore-they are broken! But for me that isn’t an option, I am not going to give my abuser what he wants which is to destroy every part of my life and so i fought hard, i sent him to prison, i went to counseling for 7 year’s, i lost family over it, relationships broke down but still i fought hard and in my eyes i have succeeded, i am very happily married, i am a good mother to my girls who are healthy and happy 🙂 i have my own house and i am hoping to have my own business as a beauty therapist in the near future 🙂

So basically What i want to say is if you have been abused PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not let that bastard take YOUR life!! You to can survive and you definitely deserve to!!!

Thank you for taking time to read 🙂 E xx

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Hmm interesting but also a little scary as someone who has been abused and also suffers P.T.S.D, General anxiety disorder, and chronic pain :/

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Poem I Made About My Abuser

I am here Because of you
The Pain and the suffering you put me through
The nightmares will never go away
But i am a FIGHTER til the end of day!

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My Blog Bio

Well i havent a clue what i am doing…. but hey ive had a pretty rough start in life and i have struggled but haven’t let it beat me and im hoping by doing this blog i can further help myself and possibly others 🙂

My name is Emma im 22years old, very happily married and i have 3 daughters whom i love with all my heart :’)  As i said i haven’t had the best start in life, I was badly sexually abused from around age 3 until i was 12 years old! I lost my whole childhood at the hands of a monster! I am not going to let that monster ruin my adulthood! I also had the trauma of getting pregnant age 12 and my beautiful baby was born 3 months premature which is a lot for a then 13year old to deal with. Luckily she survived and with the emotions of giving birth to a sick baby at a young age i told someone about my abuser. I had never spoke about this before then as he always told me he would hurt my family if i did but after giving birth it just came spilling out and that was the best and hardest thing i ever did.

It was then decided by the authorities that because of my age and having no family support my daughter would be adopted which to be honest years later i still haven’t come to terms with!

My Abuser was found guilty and jailed for 7years for each count of rape yet our justice system declares that he serves each sentence along side each other so in reality he was in jail for 3 and 1/2 years!!! I am extremely angry at this and have lost all faith in our justice system.

I have been through some horrific things but i have come out the other end, yes i have some pretty bad days- i suffer from P.T.S.D but i refuse to let my abuser destroy my life and i really hope on writing my blog i might be able to help even one person realise they too can survive and turn their life around!!! Thank you for reading 🙂 E xx

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